But then there are a lot of phrases and pictures with these phrases on them. Pictures like this one:
Or this one:
And while I agree with the sentiment that, as a Christian, you should seek out a partner/future spouse who is a devoted Christian, the actual statements are complete and utter malarkey.
This is because they suggest or outright say that God determines these kinds of details in our lives, or they tell us that God will speak to us and tell us these things directly. But the thing is, the Bible simply doesn't say that anywhere. In fact, it says quite the opposite! "In many and various ways, God spoke to his people of old by the prophets. But now in these last days, he has spoken to us by his Son." Hebrews 1:1-2 tells us that God does not deal with us except by means of His external Word.
To say that God communicates with us (and by us, I mean 21st century Christians) directly is to preach a great heresy - specifically the heresy of enthusiasm or mysticism, which teaches that we can know God apart from what is written in the Bible. This is actually a bigger problem than bad dating advice - it actually teaches that you don't need the Bible to know God or come to faith in Him.
These pictures try to tell you that through your emotions and your feelings, and not through the Word of God, you can come to know God or His will, particularly about who to enter into a relationship with. It's subtle, but that is the way that the devil works. In fact, this belief that it is through your emotions, feelings, or reason that you come to God is the root of every legitimate heresy and apostate religion in the world.
This isn't even to mention that sometimes, these kinds of sentences are nothing more than said Christian girls' way to cope with the fact that they are single and might have been single for quite some time. They try to take their singleness and attribute it to God not picking out the right guy for them or telling the right guy that she is the right girl for him. Or they demonize dating as something "of this world" that they shouldn't take part in. Or something like that.
Often these Christian girls who "just believe the Bible" will read something like 1 Corinthians 7:34, "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world - how she can please her husband." and not really understand what it really means. This verse is in the middle of Paul answering questions that the Corinthian church had. The Corinthian church, in this time, is also undergoing some persecution.
The 21st century Christian girl might look at this and say, "I just need to be focused on Jesus. Then He will give me a husband if I need one." This would make sense, if we ignore context. Paul also writes in 7:2, "But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." Whenever marriage is discussed in the Bible, it is discussed as a desirable institution to be in. There is no shame in desiring or attempting to enter into this institution. What Paul is addressing in 1 Corinthians is a variety of concerns about what was happening in Corinth. His advice, while still the inspired, inerrant Word of God that breathes life into us and can teach us, does not necessarily apply to us.
Then there's also all sorts of advice and questions about things like "How far is too far?" and "Is this sexual action that isn't outright sex a sin?". This is also heterodoxy. Usually, these aren't questions rooted in firm doctrine, but are rather questions to determine what we can get away with and work around the Law. To be sure, these kinds of questions should be asked with regards to the strength of your faith and the faith of your partner in light of what the Sixth Commandment, "Do not commit adultery," says and teaches. Which is that, not only is any kind of extramarital sex (marital being between one man and one woman in a marriage relationship) sinful, but desiring these kinds of things in our hearts is also sinful.
Our society will tell us, "Do what you are both comfortable consenting to." And some Christians will tell you, "Don't even hold hands until you are engaged. Maybe." But really, a man and a woman in a dating relationship should meet somewhere in the middle. Acknowledge that there are some things that simply should not be done until you are married (anything that involves the genitalia would be a good place to start), set those boundaries, and respect them. But this needs to be done on a relationship by relationship basis.
The way that a Christian should really go about dating is to try to get married. And realizing that marriage is a sacrifice for the other person and for your children. Try to find that person worth sacrificing for. Figure out what qualities about a person you find attractive and desirable in a spouse and seek those people out.
And when you find someone with those qualities, engage with them. No, don't get engaged to them right away, but interact with them. Talk, laugh, play; see if they really have the qualities that you want. See if you can forgive or overlook the qualities that detract from them. Argue with them and challenge each other on an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual level.
Forgive them when they screw up, and ask for forgiveness when you screw up. And if it doesn't work out, then it doesn't work out. Reconcile yourself to them, then move on and try to get married to someone else. And in the mean time, study the Scriptures and develop your faith. That is something that I can agree with evangelicals about.
